Hi there, I’m Alex, a content creator and lifelong learner passionate about self-development. Recently, I delved into Amy Morin’s “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, a transformative book that profoundly shifted how I approach challenges in life. What captivated me most? Its practical framework not only sheds light on what mentally strong people actively avoid but also provides actionable strategies to build resilience, even in the face of devastating setbacks. Here, I’ll break down key insights from the book, share relatable real-life examples, and guide you on the journey to becoming stronger mentally and emotionally.

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• (#feeling-the-world-owes-you-something)
• (#focusing-on-things-you-cant-control)
• (#repeating-the-same-mistakes)

What Defines Mental Strength?

Mental strength isn’t about suppressing emotions or exuding toughness 24/7. It’s the ability to control your thoughts, actions, and responses in ways that empower you to overcome obstacles, adapt to change, and maintain forward momentum, even when life doesn’t play fair. Amy Morin crafted her now-acclaimed list of 13 things mentally strong people avoid after enduring tremendous personal losses, including the sudden death of her mother and husband within three years.

These principles are for anyone seeking to thrive despite hardship, paving the way for personal growth and emotional resilience.

Top 3 Mental Habits to Avoid

Morin identified 13 destructive habits, but three stand out as particularly pervasive and life-limiting. By tackling these, we can preemptively avoid the rest. Let’s break them down.

1. Feeling the World Owes You Something

Imagine this: You’ve worked tirelessly for months on a big work project, but your promotion gets handed to someone else. It’s tempting to think, “This isn’t fair—I deserve this!” However, mentally strong individuals know life isn’t a transaction.

Why This Matters

As children, fairness was often enforced by caregivers. As adults, however, there’s no cosmic referee ensuring life aligns with our efforts. Dwelling on perceived injustices only breeds frustration and anger.

Real-Life Strategy

Shift focus from what you’re owed to what you can offer. One simple technique is practicing gratitude. Morin shares how mentally strong individuals often think of others facing greater hardships (e.g., those in war zones or battling terminal illness). This habit helps reframe frustrations and compels them to contribute meaningfully, such as offering help to a struggling coworker or cooking a meal for a sick friend.

2. Focusing on Things You Can’t Control

When Heather Von St. James, a new mother, was diagnosed with cancer, she felt helpless. Fearing she wouldn’t live to see her daughter grow up, she couldn’t control the disease’s potential return but found catharsis in letting go. Heather wrote her fears onto a plate, burned it, and redirected her focus to actionable steps for living fully each day. Today, she inspires countless others through annual cancer-awareness fundraisers.

The Key Insight?

Mentally strong people acknowledge what’s outside their control (e.g., job layoffs, other people’s actions) but channel energy into what they can influence: their mindset, habits, and immediate decisions.

A Simple Exercise:

1. Take a piece of paper and split it into two columns:

1. Top: Things I Cannot Control
2. Bottom: Things I Can Control
3. Physically tear off the first section and destroy it—rip it into pieces or burn it (safely). Focus entirely on the remaining actionable steps.

| Things I Cannot Control | Things I Can Control |

|-----------------------------|-----------------------------------|

| The Economy | Upskilling through online courses |

| Others’ Opinions | How I respond |

| Future Outcomes | My present actions |

3. Repeating the Same Mistakes

We all mess up, but how often do we pause to ask why we keep falling into the same traps? Morin cites how celebrities or politicians often deny accountability, leading to repeated failures. Mentally strong people act differently—they analyze their missteps and create plans to avoid repeating them.

Practical Tip:

Imagine mentoring yourself. Ask questions as though analyzing someone else’s mistake:

• What led to this outcome?
• Which behaviors fueled the issue?
• How could I act differently next time?

Keep a written list of reasons why you want to break certain habits. For instance, instead of binge-watching TV after dinner, remind yourself why going for a walk supports your health, productivity, and mood.

Key Takeaways: The Complete “13 Things” List

Here’s Amy Morin’s full list of things mentally strong people avoid:

1. Waste time feeling sorry for themselves
2. Give away their power
3. Shy away from change
4. Focus on things they can’t control
5. Worry about pleasing everyone
6. Fear taking calculated risks
7. Dwell on the past
8. Repeat the same mistakes
9. Resent other people’s success
10. Give up after the first failure
11. Fear being alone
12. Expect immediate results
13. Feel the world owes them something

By tackling even a handful of these, you’ll experience exponential improvements in how you handle adversity and uncertainty.

Real-Life Strategies to Build Mental Resilience

Feeling inspired to strengthen your mental fortitude? Start with these daily habits:

• Regular Reflection: Dedicate 10 minutes daily to journaling. Write about challenges, examine responses, and identify areas for growth.
• Mindfulness Practices: Use breathwork or apps to ground yourself in the present.
• Incremental Challenges: Push limits gently—for example, speak up in meetings if you tend to stay quiet.
• Value-Driven Decisions: Use your personal values as a compass to guide choices, even during crises.

How MyBookDigest Helped Me Apply These Lessons

When I first stumbled on 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, I was short on time and hesitant to commit to a lengthy read. That’s when I discovered MyBookDigest. Their 15-minute audio summaries deliver bite-sized wisdom for busy professionals. Listening to Amy Morin’s key lessons while tidying my workspace allowed me to quickly grasp actionable techniques without sacrificing my packed schedule. Whether it’s on your commute or during a coffee break, I highly recommend exploring their library for titles that fuel personal growth.

Final Thoughts: Building a Resilient Mindset

Mental strength is about recognizing what holds you back and consciously choosing healthier ways forward. Amy Morin’s actionable framework in 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do gifts us the tools to not only survive but thrive through life’s inevitable storms.

So, the next time life challenges your mental resilience, take a step back. Ask: Am I focusing on what I can’t control? Am I repeating destructive patterns? Am I acting as though the world owes me something? Use these reflections to guide growth, one step at a time.

What’s one habit you’re determined to change this week? Drop it in the comments below—I’d love to hear how you plan to build your mental strength!